Strained Emotions
by HisAngel07
Summary: This is Twilight from Jasper's point of view. Jasper has such a unique way of seeing things. This is really fun to write, and hopefully fun to read. I'm doing a clean up of this story. So far chapters one and two have been updated!
1. I Can't Do This

**AN: This is my first editing. Nothing has changed plot wise so far, but I did beef it up a little. I feel like this shows a little bit more of Jasper's personality, instead of mine. I hope you all enjoy it. I'm on a role with this and it makes me so excited. The next edit should be up soon.**

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I sighed as I walked through the halls of this new school. Forks High School. I couldn't even remember al the names of all the high schools I've graduated. I sighed. How many times did I have to do this? Rosalie, Emmett and I decided to be the older students, while Edward and Alice got to be younger. I hate having to fake all this. Sometimes I just wished that we could be accepted in society and not have to hide, but I know that is never going to happen. I hated all the lies. I'm not Rosalie's twin. We are nothing alike! The lie barely passed because we both had blonde hair.

And worse that the lies was being the weakest at this lifestyle. Everyone watched over me, guarded me, and checked my behavior. It was extremely annoying sometimes, and I could hardly stand being the weakest. But, there was Alice. She was the reason I went through all this. She was the reason I went through the monotonous motions of high school. She was the reason that I put up with Emmett always standing guard, Alice constantly looking to see what I'll do, and Edward monitoring my thoughts.

"Jasper? How has your day been?"

Edward. I hope he doesn't hate me too much for all my rebellious thoughts. It was just part of what I have had to deal with. Rebellion against my life. I turned to look at Edward and tried to smile at him. I could feel his sympathy, but I knew he was asking purely to see if I could make it, here among all these humans. "Fine," I replied swiftly. Then, trying to seem normal, I asked, "Have you seen Alice?"

Edward nodded and pointed behind him, "She's over there, talking to Rose." I could tell with the tone of his voice that he knew I was faking being alright. He was worried. And Alice was worried. That would be the only reason that Edward would be this concerned. There could not possibly be something that strong here that could tempt me that much. Then again, I was always the one to slip up. Every once in a while it was Emmett, but the majority of the time it was me. It made me feel dirty and worthless, but again, there was always Alice.

I could feel Edward's concern and quickly sent a peaceful feeling his way. He raised his eyebrows at me and I just smiled and walked away. I knew that he could hear what I was thinking, but at the same time, I knew that if I convinced him not to worry, he would not monitor me as closely.

While I was walking toward Alice I had to pass through a group of girls. I drew in a breath knowing that in close proximity their scents would be much stronger, and with the air in my lungs I quietly blew out, "Excuse me," and pushed my way through. It sickened me the way humans felt when we were around. They all had the same mixture of fascination and fear. None of them would ever approach us, their instincts were to strong, but we still drew their far off admiration around us. Rosalie and some others reveled in this thought, but for the rest of us, it was just disturbing.

I continued down the hall towards Alice. If Vampires could have headaches, I certainly would have one right now. Humans have the strongest emotions. Teenagers even more so than adults. They had no control over it and they were so sporadic that I could hardly concentrate. Sometimes I would use my skill and change the atmosphere just a little so it might settle on one specific emotion, but I could only do that so many times before people began to see patterns and link it with me. Edward would always warn me before that happened, but I still needed to be cautious.

I finally reached Alice and Rose. I touched Alice briefly on the shoulder. I gave Rosalie an apologetic smile and walked a little distance away. I knew that Alice would follow. She could always tell when I needed her. Alice reached me then and slowly snaked her little arms around me, looked up and said quietly, "Are you alright Jazz?"

"Alice," I began slowly. She was going to hate me. "I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can take being in this school. I struggle enough as it is, I don't need Edward freaking out on me," I paused hoping she would understand. "I..." I paused again, unsure. I glanced up at the clouds. I couldn't look her in the eyes as I broke her heart. I couldn't watch as realization would cross her face, so I look away. Always the coward. "I..." I couldn't say it. Again, I was a coward. How could I have been in a war, and gone through all my existence, and then find that I wasn't brave. I was just a coward.

Alice suddenly limped in my arms. I knew without looking that her eyes would be unfocused, seeing something that was hidden to the rest of us. She stiffened and gasped. "Don't go," she whispered in my arms as I pulled her closer to me. She was so tiny and fragile. I knew she could take care of herself, but every part of my body was screaming to protect her. I couldn't fathom hurting her. Yet, here I was about to do just that. I couldn't bare not seeing her face right then. I slowly lowered my eyes to hers.

I stared into Alice's eyes. Her confusion, hurt and fear washed over me. It hit me harder than any emotion ever had. I had to convince her that it was too hard and show her the true failure that I was. I was going to hurt her, but I would hurt her more if I continued to try and fail like this. I began a painful plea, "Alice, I love you, but it's too hard..." She started to shake. I grabbed her small hand and pulled her toward the parking lot. I passed the group of girls again. I felt their shock, but I ignored it and pushed through to the car. I opened the passenger side door for her and gently pushed her in. In a second I was sitting next to her explaining how I felt. "Alice... I love you, but I can't control myself. Constantly I have to think of you to take my mind off of it. I don't think I can take everyone worrying all the time." I paused trying to gage her reaction.

She was trying to contain her panic and spoke calmly, "Jasper, I need you. Please don't go. You can make it. You've been doing so great, and I can see that you won't do anything. Forks is perfect for us..."

I stopped her. "I know! That's why I can't stay. I don't want to destroy everything for your family."

"My family?!" Her anger drowned me. I tried to calm her but she knew what I was doing. "Stop! My family? They are just as much your family as my family. We came to them together! Don't you remember? They took us in. They tried to support us through the difficulties. They love us. You would break Esme's heart. Can you really do that?"

I sat patiently through her tirade, and I could tell she had seen something that she didn't want to tell me. "Alice," I began. I didn't know what to say to her. I wanted to stay, but I couldn't. "Alice. I can't. I want to, but... I... can't." I barely choked out those last words.

Alice took my hands and looked me in the eyes. She smiled, and I could feel her relief flood the car. I looked at her confused. "Something great is going to happen here in Forks, please just stay to see it happen. Edward is really going to need us," Alice pleaded.

I couldn't say no to her. I loved her. How could I deny her? I sighed and she grinned. She knew she had won.

"Don't worry Jasper. Everything is going to be great!"

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A week had passed and I had survived. I was still with Alice, and no one had died. Everyone still watched me very closely. We, more like I, had decided I should hunt no less than once a week. I could feel anxiety throughout the house, but there was nothing I could do about it. When I'm nervous, everyone is.

Alice lightly knocked on my door. I whispered, "Come in," and turned my head away from her view as she slipped into the room. She sighed and came to put her hand on my shoulder. She jerked her hand away when she felt my disgust with myself. I could feel her shock and hurt. She sat down beside me and gently, but forcefully, turned my head towards her. She smiled timidly and spoke. She said exactly what I needed to hear, but I dreaded it all the same.

"Jasper, I can't stand it when you feel this way. It hurts. Do you really think that I would choose to be with someone who was weak and a monster?"

I turned away from her hiding my shame. Of course I would never think that she would do that, but I was so unworthy of her. I could never live up to what she was.

"Jasper, look at me," she commanded. I forced myself to look at her, dreading it. I knew that as soon as she looked in my eyes she would know what I was thinking. She stared intently for a few moments, interpreting my expression. "Jasper, please. If anything I'm not good enough for you. You are able to hold yourself in the most awkward situations. I have to try to be heard. No one would dream of not listening to you. You have such a calming presence. Our family would never be the same without you. Why do you think we are able to blend as well as we do? It's not because we are amazing actors; it's because you create a sense of comfort, no matter where we are." She stopped.

I couldn't believe it. None of that was true. I knew strategies of all military maneuvers, and I knew that was not one of ours. I know that even if I didn't have my ability, things would still be just as awkward and smooth at the same time. If I just left, things would be so much easier for them. They could live in comfort, not fear. There would be no more tension when I struggled. I wouldn't put all this added stress on my family.

Alice studied my expression then quietly said, "Jazz, if you leave, I have no reason to live here. I will just follow you."

I shook my head, "No Alice. You can't do that. You can live here in ease."

Alice stood up and walked over to the door and slowly opened it. She took one step out then turned to look me in the eyes. "Jasper, I love you. No matter what you choose I will be there beside you." Then she was gone.

I hung my head. I had to choose what Alice would want, but it hurt me. How could I make a decision that would change her life? Would she really follow me? How could I lead her away from the one's she loves? I couldn't do that. It would hurt her and my whole being shied away from any thought that could harm my little Alice.

A soft knock came from my door and Edward walked in before I could tell him to go away. "Jasper," he began. "You are part of our family. It would hurt more than just Alice if you left." Then he was gone. I felt his sincerity, but it was still difficult to believe. Edward and Emmett had a connection that I could never really join in. Rosalie always loved to point out the fact that she had never once tasted human blood. She lorded over me. She wouldn't miss the inconvenience I could cause. Carlisle and Esme loved me, it was true, but they didn't really understand me. They could not fathom the things that I've been through, the way that I've lived.

As if she was the one that could read thoughts, Esme came in just then. She sat beside me and pulled me into a very motherly hugged. "I know this is hard for you honey, but you can do it. Alice believes in you. We all believe in you. You don't have to leave. We are all here for you."

I stayed there in her comforting hold for a few moments and just thought. I could do this. I've been doing it for years now. Just because the strain was getting to me, didn't mean that I could just go back to my old life style. I remembered then all the pain and hurt I went through with Maria. I didn't want that anger and pain to my companions. I compared it to my life with Alice. I have had more joy and happiness in the past few decades, than any other time in my life. I had a mother here sitting holding me, trying to comfort me in the only way she could. I knew then that I couldn't leave. It wouldn't make me happier, and it wouldn't make anyone else happier.

I got up resolved to do the right thing. "I have to talk to Alice."

Esme nodded a knowing little smile played on her lips. I could feel her relief as I ran to where I knew Alice would be.  


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**AN: Thanks for reading! :D Reviews make me happy, and if you can tell a difference in the style, let me know. I'm not sure if this chapter is indeed different enough to tell, but if you can, please let me know what you think. I feel like I understand Jasper a little better. Expect an update here in the next few days. :-)**


	2. Girlfriend?

**And here's the updated chapter 2! I like this one much better. I hope you do too.**

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I walked slowly through the halls of the school. People scooted out of my way and gave me strange looks as I passed. This was nothing unusual. These mere little humans could sense that I wasn't something they wanted to mess with. They could sense that I wasn't normal.

Granted, I was always different from them, but today they could sense that it was a dangerous thing. I had been hunting at least once a week since the beginning of the school year. No one really wanted to push me right now, but it had been an entire week since I last hunted. I was a little stormy today. Homecoming dance was coming up, and so all the human emotions were spiking. There was lust, there was love and there was definitely enough of anxiety.

To distract myself I tried to decipher what Alice had meant when she told me that something was going to happen for Edward. Edward hated it when he overheard one of us thinking about this. He assumed that things would always go as they had. He would be an almost second in command and he would be alone. He had come to terms with this a long time ago. It wasn't that he didn't want to feel the same things as us, he just felt like he understood this world so much, there couldn't possibly be someone out there who could make it more fascinating for him. I disagreed with him, but he never listened.

I sat in my chair in my English class and barely listened to the teacher drone on about something I already knew. So, I continued with my train of thought. I had once been cynical like Edward. I thought that there was nothing new in the world of ours. I was lost in a world of hate and confusion and thought that was all that was left for me. I didn't think anything in the world could truly make me happy.

Once I left Maria, I thought that things might get better, but that hope was soon lost to me. How, in this strange half-existence could something make me happier. I was doomed to be a murderer forever. What about that could make anyone happy.

Then there was Alice. Love changed everything for me. Her simple excitement with life made me smile all the time. She was literally bouncing with joy all the time. She never once hated this life of ours. She could never think of any of us as evil or killers. We just were. She was my little sun that constantly followed me and brighten my life. She made this struggle of mine worth it. I loved her more than anything else, and she made life interesting again. I was constantly learning new things, and they were things that I always thought I knew. I hoped that Edward would one day share this same joy.

The bell rang and I continued with show of normality. I walked to the cafeteria and bought a lunch for me and Alice. It wasn't very big. I assumed that if Alice was human she wouldn't each very much. She was so tiny. I sat down at our usual table and began to watch the other students enter. Sometimes it was entertaining to see humans interact. For instance, there was Mike Newton. He was a typical high school student, but you could tell that he liked Jessica Stanley. Yet, as he floundered around her, she barely took any notice. She seemed to not even see anyone.

I felt tiny lips kissing me lightly on the cheek. I turned and grinned at Alice. "How are you my tiny little sunshine?"

She stuck out her tongue at me and then laughed a tinkling laugh. "You seem better today."

"I've just realized how lucky I am to be here. That's all. By tomorrow, I'll be usually gloomy self. I promise." I winked at her as Rosalie came and sat with us. Edward and Emmett had gone on a hunting trip with Carlisle early this morning and wouldn't be back for a while.

Rosalie looked gloomy and she pick at the food in front of her. I could tell that she was missing Emmett.

We all sat there like that. I was holding Alice's hand in mine under the table and lightly rubbing circles on her wrist. She kept looking dazed at things the rest of us couldn't see. I assumed that since Edward wasn't here she would be looking for something in his future.

"Excuse me. Where's your brother Edward today?" A small voice came from behind me and I stiffened a little. It was rare when a human came to talk to us. I tasted her emotions to see if I could see the meaning behind her question. She was a simple girl with simple feelings. She was nervous to talk to us. She was embarrassed but mainly she was very curious. But this curious feeling of hers was different. There was a different undertone. Anticipation? Hope? Attraction? I couldn't quite pinpoint it, but it didn't really matter.

I had done all of that in a matter of seconds. Seconds that could be interpreted as shock. I turned to see Jessica Stanley standing behind me.

Alice quickly answered, "Him and our other brother Emmett went camping with our father. They should be back in a few days."

I sighed. This really was a strange situation. One that we really had never been in before. Rosalie was seething. She hated it when humans tried to interact with us. Her same question was always, "Can't they see how they aren't good enough for us?"

"Oh." The girl was disappointed. "Can I sit here?" She asked as she sunk into the sit next to mine.

I realized that I hadn't been breathing and I had no air to answer her question. I quickly breathed in and wished I hadn't. It had definitely been too long since I had last hunted. This common girl smelled so much better than she should. I tensed and turned my head to hide the hunger in my eyes from her.

Alice gasped, grasping the situation. She squeezed my hand as she said, "I'm terrible sorry Jessica, but we were just about to leave. We'll see you around."

Jessica was shocked and confused, but I could tell that she didn't really grasp what was going on. If she did, she would be terrified. Rosalie quickly grabbed out trays as Alice and I headed outside to the fresh air.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"You weren't going to do anything, the situation was just risky. That's all," Alice reassured me. "Come on. I think it's safer if we go hunt now."

I nodded. As Alice and I headed toward the woods, Rosalie appeared where we just were. "I'm sorry Rosalie, but could you please come up with an excuse for us. Thanks!" Then we ran.

We ran right up until we came to a clearing. Sitting on a boulder was Edward, watching amused as Emmett made a fool of himself, trash talking a tree.

"You think that you can just get in my way, huh? Well think again!" Emmett ripped off a branch a few feet from the ground.

"Goodness Emmett. What did that tree ever do to you?" I laughed as Edward and Emmett turned to look at us.

"What are you guys doing here?" Edward demanded. "What about school?"

Alice grinned that scary plotting grin of hers, "We had to leave. Jasper was going to eat your girlfriend."

Emmett was confused. "Jasper can't eat Rose."

I laughed at this. "No Emmett. I can't eat Rose. Alice was talking about Edward's girlfriend."

Edward's shock was so funny. He almost fell of the boulder when he tried to stand up too quickly.

"What?!"

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**Again. Let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	3. The Real Girl

Edward stood up so fast it startled me (and I'm a vampire). "What? Girlfriend? I have no idea what you are talking about."

Oops... Edward was mad. I tried to calm him down, but I was sure it wouldn't work. I was enjoying this too much.

"Sure Edward," I smirked. "If she wasn't your girlfriend then why would she sit with your family at lunch today?" I asked him calmly as if this sort of thing happened all the time.

Emmett burst out laughing, "Esme will love this! I'm going to go tell her!" Emmett started to leave but he stopped and asked, "Where's Rose?"

"Oh, we left her to sort everything out," Alice replied simply.

"Great. Thanks guys," Emmett said lamely. "Now I get to hear about that all night..." I burst out laughing again, and Edward glared at all of us.

"Don't you dare go and tell Esme, Emmett! She is not my girlfriend! Alice, did you _not_ see this coming?"

I glanced at her curiously wondering if this what she had seen.

"Nope," she answered cheerfully. "I was too busy looking at something else." Suddenly her face went blank and I could tell she was clearing her mind.

A small growl came from Edward and Alice just stared him down. I tried to discreetly send some calm through the group. Apparently I wasn't very successful because Emmett raised his eyebrows at me. I shrugged and turned back to Alice.

I walked behind her and snaked my arms around her waist. She relaxed in my grip, but I could tell she was still glaring at Edward. "Edward, let it go. We won't tell Esme." Emmett growled at me, but I ignored it. "Alice will keep things to herself." Alice squeezed my arm and I knew she was annoyed. "I'll go hunting so I don't do anything stupid and you will not purposefully read Alice's mind." Edward relaxed, but was still annoyed. "Oh and Emmett will keep Rosalie from killing us," I added for our safety.

Emmett snorted. "Right. Like that's possible. I bet she's plotting your deaths right now."

Edward nodded, reluctantly agreeing to my plan, then turned and ran back to the house. Emmett sighed, "I guess I should go follow him..."

Alice turned around in my arms and reached up to pull my face down. We kissed passionately for a while, but I pulled away. She sighed. "I love how you can do that," she said addressing my compromising skills. She tried to kiss me again.

I stopped her lips with a finger. "So as payment do I get to know what you really saw?"

She giggled. "Edward would kill me." She thought for a second. "All I know is that she isn't here yet."

"She?" I asked amazed. "So it is a girl?" She just smiled at me. "You have to tell me though," I paused. "Is she human?" We both knew that if she was it would be a problem.

"I don't know," she hesitated. "Sometimes I see her as a human and other times I see her as one of us... I don't really understand."

We both froze in each others' arms, lost in our thoughts. Suddenly she looked up at me. "You really should go hunting."

I nodded and we ran into the woods, but I still pondered what the next couple years could bring.


	4. Jessica

The rest of the day went by smoothly. We all did our usual things. Edward was in his room listening to music, sulking I'm sure. Emmett and Rosalie were in their room doing their favorite past time: tonsil hockey. Esme and Carlisle were downstairs watching old movies. Alice and I spent most of the night talking. She was still trying to convince me I could stay. I wasn't so sure but I agreed that the Edward thing was intriguing. Who was this mystery girl? How could she change our lives? Would Edward finally find someone? It was so hard to believe he hadn't found someone yet. I think he gets tired of the attention he gets in people's minds. Oh well. As soon as I had thought this Edward came in our room. He glared at me and I knew he had heard my last thoughts.

Alice sighed, "Don't you know how to knock Edward?"

Edward glared, "I knew you weren't doing anything." He continued be fore Alice could say anything, "Anyways, it's time for school. Mom told me to get you." His irritation from the previous day magnified and I couldn't help but laugh.

"It's not funny Jasper!" he hissed at me.

"No, you're right Edward," I grinned. "It's not funny..." _it's hilarious._ Edward shot death glares at me. I probably shouldn't provoke him, but it's just too much fun.

Alice glanced at Edward and then me. "Well, if it's time for school, someone has to go get Emmett and Rosalie." I looked away and Edward grimaced. She sighed, "And I suppose that someone would be me." She got up and went to go get them. Edward turned without a word and went to go get the car started. I just waited for Alice to come back. I didn't have to wait long. In less then a minute she was by my side.

"Rosalie's about to kill me... We'd better go." I grabbed her hand and we ran to the car. I let her take the front seat and I sat behind her. Rosalie and Emmett were in the seat next to me in seconds and their annoyance was too much. Everyone's emotions were getting on my nerves. I suppose my irritation was just fuel for the fire, but I couldn't help it. I tried to calm everyone down. I forgot how concentrated feelings can get inside a car. Pretty soon they all had goofy grins on their faces. I smiled at myself. They figured it out, though, after a moment and they all turned to stare at me.

"Sorry," I whispered, "You all are just getting annoying. You should all just relax."

It didn't work; they all just sat there trying to be annoyed. It was quite entertaining.

We pulled into the school parking lot and silently got out of the car. We were walking to the school when we heard it:

"Wow Edward, that's a really nice car!"

We all turned slowly around. Jessica was jumping up and down anxious to get Edward's attention. Rosalie and Alice tried to fight back giggles, but Edward must have heard them because he softly growled in the back of his throat. Emmett stared dumbstruck that this little human had the courage to talk to us. I thought to Edward, _Have fun with this. Her obsession is driving me crazy. I have to go to class._ I smiled at him and turned to leave without even glancing at Jessica. The others seemed to follow my lead and we walked far enough away where we could hear them, but I didn't have to feel the obsession. Jessica smiled at Edward, "What was that about?"

Edward tried to be polite but I could see the struggle on his face. "We don't interact with other people very well," he said softly. His eyes clearly showed that he included himself, but Jessica paid no attention.

"Oh well, that's a shame." She smiled again. "So what classes do you have? I know that you have English and geometry with me, but what else?"

Edward didn't smile back. I could see on his face that he was contemplating how to get rid of her, but he didn't know how. I saw the conclusion on his face, and he hated it. Always "the perfect gentleman" as Esme called him, he hated being rude, but here he had no choice.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in any of my classes. I never noticed you before." His tone implied that it was because she wasn't anything to notice.

Jessica just smiled and said, "Oh, well I am. I sit right next to you in English." How stupid could she be? Did she want to die?

Edward just turned and said, "Excuse me, I'm going to be late for class." He walked away unsmiling and went into his classroom. Jessica stood there shocked.

I snickered. Alice smacked my arm and said, "It's not funny. I feel bad for the poor girl. Why did she have to do that to herself?"

Emmett laughed and said, "I dunno, maybe because it's Edward? You know, the 'perfect gentleman?'"

Rosalie hit the back of his head and hissed, "Shut up! You are_ so_ stupid." She turned and started to walk to her class. She stopped and glanced over her shoulder, "_Well_? Are you coming?" Emmett quickly caught up to her and wrapped his arm around her waist, smirking.

I shook my head and sighed, "I don't think I'll ever understand them."

Alice laughed and took my hand. "Well we should get to class. See you at lunch." She smiled and leaned up to kiss me goodbye.

As she was walking to class she turned and said, "I'll be sure to tell you what Edward says!" she laughed again and disappeared through her classroom door.

I smiled to myself as I walked to class, wondering what else the day could bring.


	5. Rumors

The morning went smoothly for us "older" students in the family. Emmett and Rosalie kept sending off the weirdest emotions and I tried to ignore it. Same thing as everyday. I doodled on my notebook bored and wondering how Alice's day was going. She seemed to be enjoying the whole Edward situation a little too much. She's going to get Edward angry. Of course she could handle it. She really is the only one of us who can tell Edward our true opinions without worrying about him bursting with anger. Maybe we'll get to play baseball soon. That always seems to get Edward in a good mood.

Rosalie, Emmett and I walked into the lunch room together. We bought our "lunches" and sat at our usual table. I murmured, "Where are Alice and Edward?" Both Rosalie and Emmett just shrugged.

As if to answer my question Edward burst through the doors and quickly bought his lunch. He sat down, and his anger was overwhelming. I quickly tried to calm him down but he just looked at me and growled, "Don't."

_Where's Alice?_

He looked over at the doors and glared. Just then Alice and Jessica were walking through the doors, arm in arm, giggling. My jaw dropped. _What in the world? What is she doing?_

"Trying to annoy me to death, I guess," Edward whispered harshly. His anger was out of control. Pretty soon it would affect how I felt. I touched his arm and forced him to calm down. He just glared at me, but he was at least under control.

"I have to go talk to her," I quickly told him and I got up. Alice and Jessica were just finishing buying their lunches when I walked up to them.

"Alice I need to talk to you." I quietly said. Jessica stared. I felt her amazement and tried not to grimace. She thought I was rude yesterday, did I really have to do this?

"I'm terribly sorry," I said to Jessica, much to her embarrassment. "But I really must speak with Alice." I grabbed Alice's arm and pulled her outside.

"Alice! What the hell are you doing?" I asked her confused. "I thought you said she wasn't the girl?"

Alice grinned mischievously. "She's not."

"Well then, what is God's name are you doing?" I demanded.

"I just want to get Edward properly annoyed," she said matter-of-factly.

"Why?" I swear. Sometimes Alice does the strangest things.

"Because," she hesitated. "He won't say anything to her." I gave her a questioning look. I still didn't understand. "She doesn't think of it like she should. She thinks that he's just shy. If he doesn't say something soon, something bad will happen." Her face paled even more than usual.

"Why don't you just tell him that?" I asked. That seemed like the most obvious solution.

"If I tell Edward what will happen," she hesitated again. This must be bad. "He'll freak out. He'll leave. I don't want to be the one to tell Esme it's my fault. He needs to say something."

Suddenly the cafeteria doors burst open and Jessica was running to the bathrooms, crying. I felt her anguish briefly, then she was out of sight.

Alice and I shared a confused look when Edward came out. "Is she gone?" I felt his relief and I wondered what had happened. "I told her I wasn't interested," he said flatly.

"Oh," was all Alice or I could get out.

"She didn't believe me," he continued. I was shocked. Was she really that stupid? "Rosalie had a little bit too much fun telling her that she wasn't good enough. Jessica thought that that was my opinion too. She burst into tears and stormed off." He was filled with relief, but there was also some remorse. He felt bad that it had to happen, but was relieved that she would leave him alone.

"Don't worry Edward!" Alice exclaimed. "Something great will happen and you won't even remember this!"

I froze. What was she saying? Is this about... Wait, no. Alice... Alice and me. I'm going to take Alice out shopping tonight. She'll love it. Where do you think she'd want to go? I tried desperately to not think about anything else.

"You two are hiding something from me," Edward said his anger flaring up again. We both just shrugged. I wrapped my arm around Alice's waist and walked her to her class.

"I'll find out eventually!" Edward called after us.

I smiled and continued on my way like nothing had happened. I could feel Edward's annoyance, and he couldn't do anything. _Ha! You'll never know!_ I dropped Alice off at her classroom and looked around quickly. No one was watching so I ran behind my classroom building. As I walked around the building to go through the door a group of kids stared unsure of why I had come from behind the building. I smiled at them and walked through the door. As I sat down I began to hear the whispers:

"Edward Cullen said Jessica wasn't good enough." "The Cullens are so full of themselves!" "Do you really think they're all like that?" "I heard it was all that Hale girl." "Really? Her brother seems okay."

I sighed. Didn't they have anything better to talk about? The rest of the day was like that. Everywhere I went the whispers followed. It was funny to hear because sometimes there were the outrageous ones like, "Did you know that Emmett Cullen sleeps in pink princess pajamas?" I hope he hears about that one. Or "I heard Edward is really a model from Paris, he just doesn't want anyone to know." I laughed at that one. Did they really think that about us? Occasionally I heard a few that upset me. "Alice Cullen is a whore. Alex swears that she tried to pay him to sleep with her. Can you believe it?" I had to ask to go to the restroom when I heard that one. If I had stayed in the room I would have killed that pathetic human. No one talks about Alice that way. I would have to find that Alex kid and talk to him. The idea of that made me smile.


	6. Bella

When the final bell rang I quickly went to the car (avoiding Alex. I couldn't afford to kill someone now...). Finally I could escape all the pathetic humans and their stupid rumors. The rest of the family got in the car and I could tell they all felt the same way. Edward got in the car and slammed the door shut. He was still angry with us.

When we got home Edward ran to his room and turned on his music, louder than normal. Esme looked worried, "What happened to Edward?"  
I sighed. "Girl problems," I said with a slight smile.

Esme raised an eyebrow and I knew she was confused. "Alice'll explain it," I said simply and Alice went into the most detailed story I have ever heard. She was having way too much fun with this. Alice didn't finish her story until the nest morning.

When Edward came down, he paused and looked at Esme. "I'm fine," he said hoping we would leave him alone.

We had all agreed that we would leave him alone, so we did. We all thought it was hilarious, but Edward obviously didn't. The rest of that year continued without any other unexpected incidents. Actually, up until January, life was quiet and peaceful. Everything went as expected. We lived as if Edward never had to do that to Jessica. Then... she showed up. It was strange. Alice and I knew she was coming, but we weren't sure when. Bella Swan. Her first day was an interesting one. Nothing like that day had ever happened before.

I remember the day perfectly. It was like any other day. We had fallen into a rut. Everything we did fit into our unspoken schedule. Nothing ever changed. We got the news that the police chief's daughter, Isabella Swan, was coming and we took it gracefully. We all politely accepted it, thinking it would never affect us. How wrong we were.

Bella had more impact in our lives than anyone else could have. Jessica made us annoyed, but Bella... Bella... Well, she was Bella.

The first day she came she wasn't in any of our classes before lunch. We all entered the cafeteria and sat down silent, like always. Edward was a little more annoyed than usual, and Alice was worried about me. We had decided to try to build up my endurance... Well, _they _had decided. I didn't want to. It's hard enough for me without trying to push the limits. A girl walked past me and flipped her hair behind one of her ears. I couldn't help myself. Suddenly I found myself picturing how I could get her separate so I could drink her. Edward kicked my chair. It pulled me out of my daydream. Ashamed I looked down. Alice tried to tell me about the girl. I snapped, "I know who she is." I felt myself sinking lower. I hated felling weaker than everyone else.

Alice just shrugged it off. I felt how Edward was amazed at our relationship. I knew that we would talk about it later. Alice got up and left. As if to distract me Edward started to explain what was happening with the new Swan girl. Of course we all could hear the conversation, but we all enjoyed hearing it from Edward's perspective. He always added the most interesting details. Emmett was eager to hear more.

Edward never said what she was thinking. I looked up at him. He was frustrated. He never had to try this hard to hear a human's thoughts. His confusion and anxiety confused me. Who was this human? Then Alice's vision came to mind. I quickly dismissed it hoping Edward hadn't heard. He didn't; he was concentrating too hard on the girl. _Edward? What's wrong?_ He just shook his head. _Edward, I know something is wrong. You're confused and anxious. Tell me._

"Shall we?" Rosalie's voice broke our conversation. I didn't have a chance to question him further. He went to his biology class.

The rest of the school day was boring, but I had the mystery of Bella to keep me occupied. After school I met Alice and we walked to our car together. Edward wasn't there. Strange, he's usually the first one here. Emmett and Rosalie came toward us.

"Where's Ed?" Emmett asked. I'm sure he was hoping Edward could hear. Edward hated it when he called him Ed.

Alice and I shrugged and got into the car. Not too long after Edward stormed out of the office and got in the car to drive. His anger and frustration startled me.

"Edward?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice. Edward just shook his head.

"What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded. Edward didn't answer. He just threw the car into reverse and was soon speeding out of the school parking lot. I stared at Alice. Had she seen what caused Edward to act like this? What was going on?

She just shrugged. I realized that she had been to preoccupied with me that she didn't see anything for Edward. I hung my head ashamed. Alice turned to stare at Edward. I could tell she was searching for his future.

"You're leaving?" she whispered. I looked up in shock. What could cause Edward to leave?

"Am I?" he hissed. He was just as confused as the rest of us.

A few soft "oh"s came from Alice. Edward's face was crumpled into a look of pain. He was seeing what she was seeing and it was hurting him. What could possibly be going on?

Suddenly Edward exclaimed, "Stop!"

"Sorry," Alice murmured. She sat wide-eyed. Afraid of something that was going to happen. "I'll miss you. No matter how short a time you'll be gone." I froze. What had Alice seen. Was Edward really going?

We were almost home when Alice said, "You should drop us off here." Rosalie was about to protest. Emmett and I silenced her with a look and turned back to Alice and Edward. "You should tell Carlisle yourself." I slid out of the car and Emmett and Rosalie followed. Alice touched Edward's shoulder. "You'll do the right thing. She's Charlie Swan's only daughter. It would kill him, too." She slid out of the car too and joined me by my side.

We watched as he sped away toward town. "What is he going to do?" I asked Alice.

"I'm not sure. It looks like he's going to leave." I pulled her close to me and tried to calm her fears. She really didn't need to worry so much.

"Don't worry about him," I whispered in her ear.

"I'm not worried about _him_," she corrected me.

"Then what are you worried about?"

"Esme."

I held her tighter. "It will all be okay." We sat there thinking. After a few minutes I asked, "What made him leave?"

She shrugged, "Bella."

I turned her around in my arms so that she was facing me and not the street. "Don't worry anymore." I said simply and pulled her face toward mine. As we kissed nothing but love and gratitude came from her and I smiled to myself.

When we finally broke apart, we looked around. Emmett and Rosalie must have already gone home. "We should go," I said softly.

She nodded and began running. I followed her and in no time at all we were home.

"Alice?" a small voice came from beside us. "Where's Edward?"


	7. Edward's Coming Home

Esme's grief was overwhelming. I put a hand on her shoulder, hoping to clam her down. She smiled softly up at me, but the pain was still in her eyes. I tried to smile encouragingly. Everything would be okay.

"I'm not sure Esme," Alice told her quietly. "It looks like he's going to leave and stay in Denali for a while." Alice looked at the floor. Her grief was just as bad as Esme's but she had it more under control.

Esme was hit with a new wave of pain. "Mom," I quickly cried out as I hugged her. "Don't worry. He won't be gone for long, right Alice?" I looked at Alice hoping she'd understand to lie for her.

"Yeah," Alice caught on. "He won't be gone for long."

Esme smiled slightly, knowing what we were doing. She nodded and turned to sit on the couch. Her worry was still very strong though.

I followed her, just slightly behind her and sat next to her on the couch. I put my arm around her shoulders, knowing that emotions could be manipulated much easier when I was actually touching someone. I tried to calm her as much as I could without overdoing it. "Really Esme. It will all be okay," she only smiled a little at this. "And I'll be here with you the whole time he's gone." I gave her a reassuring smile.

She smiled back at me slightly comforted by this. She sighed and turned on the TV. We watched numerous old videos, but as soon as they reminded her of Edward she would run and change it.

I watched this with anger. Anger that Edward would do this to all of us. Did he not think of everything this would do to our family? All we had done to stay together, and he didn't stay to fight for it. He didn't even come to say goodbye to Esme. I tried my hardest to not let Esme feel my anger. She felt no anger at all; all she felt was grief and fear. I wanted it to stay that way. It wasn't in her nature to hate someone for something that they had done.

After Esme had changed the movie for the twentieth time, she turned to me and said, "Jasper honey, you need to get ready for school. The others will be down any minute now."

I was shocked. I told her I would stay here with her. I didn't want to go to school, knowing that she would be here by herself, suffering.

She read my expression and laughed lightly. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," I didn't believe her. As if she could tell, she said, "Besides I won't be alone. Carlisle is taking a holiday from the hospital until Edward comes home. So please, don't worry and just go to school."

I sighed. I couldn't argue with my mother. "Fine, but if you need me just call." I smiled at her and ran to get ready.

Two days passed like this. I would stay all night with her keeping track of her emotions. She was at the verge of breaking down many times. In the morning I would argue with her saying that she needed me there, but in the end she would win and I would go to school.

After the third day of this growing more familiar routine, Alice came down the stairs in a flash. I felt her excitement and wondered what had happened. The way she was bouncing up and down made it clear that she had seen a vision, but what would make her this happy?

"Edward's coming home!" She yelled.

Esme beside me gasped. Her fears dissolved into pure joy. "When?"

Alice shook her head, "I'm not entirely sure, but it looks like tonight or tomorrow. It all depends on how fast he drives." Alice laughed excitedly.

I shook my head as Emmett walked in. "Did I hear that right? Edward's coming home?" At Alice's nod he grinned. "Good. I'm gonna kill him."

Esme looked shocked. "Emmett you will do no such thing!" His face fell slightly as Esme scolded him. "He's just coming home and we have to be nice to him. I'm sure you know what it's like to feel like you're not strong enough."

Emmett sighed. He knew that he had lost that battle. He's anger was still very strong though.

Behind Esme's back I grinned at him and winked. He understood. I would take care of it.

He cheered slightly at this thought, but hid it from everyone else. He went back upstairs to Rosalie.

Alice smiled at me and went upstairs to our room. I wanted to follow, but I had to make sure Esme was okay first.

I looked down at her and she grinned at me. I could tell that there was no need for me to be there. She wasn't going to go to pieces any time soon. I smiled at her and said, "Well, it feels like you're okay now. I'm going upstairs. If you need me just call."

She grinned at me. She was barely able to contain her excitement that Edward was coming home.

I laughed as I ran up the stairs. I had to look happy that Edward was coming home if I wanted to get away with what I was about to do. I don't think anyone has actually attacked anyone else in the family.

I put on a happy face as I walked into mine and Alice's room. I looked over to see her sitting on the end of our bed.

"It won't work Jasper." She almost growled.

Damn. She saw what I was going to do. I need to start not actually making decisions until the last possible moment.

"I saw what you're going to do and it won't make a difference. You're still going to get into trouble."

I sighed. "I don't care about getting into trouble. I just want Edward to feel the pain that Esme, and I, through her, had to feel. He should know that his careless mistakes could lead to hurting our family."

She shook her head and I knew what she was thinking. "I know. I can't point fingers. I know that I've messed up a lot, but I felt everyone else's pain. I knew what they were feeling."

Alice opened her mouth to argue.

"No," I said before she could start. "I felt that. Yes, Edward knows what we're thinking but that is different then knowing that the pain eating away at Esme is you're fault. I just can't let him off easy."

She sighed. "If you think it's for the best."

I nodded.

"Well," she said softly. "Here's your chance to hurt him, because he's about to pull up into the drive."

Sure enough a few seconds later I could here the sounds of a car pulling up to the house. I ran downstairs and stopped at the platform with the piano. Esme was standing near the door in anticipation for when Edward came in. Emmett came and stood near me and Alice went to stand next to Esme. Carlisle was still not home from the hospital yet. Rosalie walked in on the phone.

"Yeah dad. He just came home. Get here as soon as you can." Then she hung up.

We all waited for what felt like en eternity. _Edward, you better hurry up._


	8. Brotherly Love

Finally the door opened slowly and Edward was standing in the door frame. Alice cried out, "Edward!" happily and if Esme could cry, she would have. I stood watching, my anger building. Emmett's anger just helped to fuel mine. If Edward thought he could just come home like nothing had happened, he was wrong. Before Edward could move, I was flying through the air, determined to hurt him.

I knocked him over hoping to do some damage. He fought back. "Jasper! What the Hell!"

I took no notice and began to snap my teeth at any part of his body I could reach. Edward was quick and much stronger than he looked. He held my neck, straining to keep my teeth away from him. I growled and lost control, fighting with all my strength.

Esme watched horrified. She turned to Emmett. "Go break that up!" She commanded.

Emmett looked at her in shook. He wanted to join, why would he break it up?

The next second Carlisle was there pulling us apart. I snarled and reached to hit Edward again. How could Edward just come back like nothing had happened?

Alice came over and held my arm. She gave Carlisle a nod and he released most of me and held my other arm. _How could you pretend like nothing would happen?_

"I didn't. Just because I decided to talk to Carlisle, not you, doesn't mean I don't care!" Edward growled. He was standing there glaring at me.

_Oh yeah right Edward. What about Esme? Did you never think of her?_

Edward hung his head. "It tore me apart." Edward whispered. I growled. "That's why I didn't come home first."

I quickly "showed" him all of Esme's emotions through those last couple days. Edward sank to his knees, clearly in pain. I smiled at the thought. Good he needs to know it. I could feel that he hated not being strong enough. Strong enough? _ What is it Edward? You'll have to explain sometime._

Esme walked over to Edward and pulled him to his feet. She sat him down on the couch and hugged him in a very motherly way. "It's okay Edward. We all love you. Tell us what happened."

Carlisle let go of me and gave me a look that sad, _I'm not done with you mister. _Then he sat on the other side of Edward.

I cringed. Oh great. I was in trouble. Hadn't Alice warned me? Maybe I should listen to her more. Alice pulled me by my arm to the chair next to the couch. Emmett and Rosalie were already sitting in the love seat. She pushed me down into the chair and quickly sat on my lap. I hugged her close to my chest and I could feel her disapproval and love at the same time. I sighed. She glared at me and whispered, "It's Edward's turn to talk. Shut up."

I laughed lightly and turned to listen to Edward.

He sighed, staring at his hands in his lap. "I don't how to explain. I don't know what to do. The new girl... Isabella Swan..." He paused. Everyone sat puzzled. Well everyone except Carlisle. He already knew. "Her blood... it's so... so... so sweet." He finished lamely. It's not very often you hear Edward at a loss for words, but that is exactly what had happened. He continued, still struggling for the right words. "I don't know what to do. I can feel the... _monster_ inside me, calling me to feed... feed on her blood..." He put his head in his hands.

Alice bounded forward and hugged him. "Don't worry Edward! You won't do anything!" Then she grabbed my hand and pulled me to our room. I had briefly felt Edward's shock and wondered what Alice had told him in her mind.

As we were in our room and she tried to let go of my hand to sit down on the bed, I pulled her to me. I hugged her to my chest holding her tight. She was forced to look at me. She sighed knowing exactly what I was about to ask. "What is going on?" I asked before she could argue with me.

She just pulled out of my grasped and smiled at me knowingly. She never explained anything. The only thing I got out of her was a smack to the back of the head.

"Ow. What was that for?" I asked rubbing the back of my head.

"Why did you have to do that to Edward? I told you it was stupid? Don't you ever listen?"

"Of course I listen to you!" I exclaimed. "I just..." she glared, and I just shrugged. "You never felt what Esme felt."

She didn't say anything and her disapproval was still clear. I sat down on the bed and pulled her close to me. I held her tightly against my chest and slowly rubbed her back. I began to whisper in her ear, hoping for her to calm down. "I love this family. You and they are the best things that have ever happened to me. I just couldn't believe what he had done to us. I know it was rash, but my anger, and Emmett's I might add, just got out of control."

She pulled away from me just enough to look up at me. " I love you Jasper, but you're and idiot."

I smiled and leaned down to kiss her.

Suddenly I heard Carlisle, "Jasper. Come to my office. We need to talk."

Damn. I'm in trouble. What am I going to say to him? I was able to explain to Alice, but that's much easier. Carlisle will never just let me off the hook. I wonder what I'm going to have to do.

I sighed and put Alice down on the bed. "I'll be right back. I have to go talk to Carlisle."

She smiled, "Don't worry so much Jasper. He's not going to make you do anything too awful."

I sighed again and walked out of the room and ran to Carlisle's office.


	9. Family Bonding

I knocked on the door. Carlisle's stern voice came through the door, "Come in Jasper."

I sighed once again and push the door in. "You wanted to see me," I said trying to be calm.

Carlisle nodded. "Yes. I needed to talk to you." I waited for him to continue. "Your behavior today was unacceptable. You should not have reacted that way. Is there anything worth my time for you to explain?"

I hesitated. "Yes sir," I decide formality was probably for the better in this situation. "I really couldn't help myself. I know it is not a good enough excuse, but my anger was just doubled by Emmett's. The whole situation got out of hand. It won't happen again."

Carlisle's lip twitched. It almost looked like he had to fight back a smile. I relaxed realizing that none of his emotions said that he was really that mad. "Well it better not," Carlisle said, still playing his role of father.

"Of course not," I agreed. I hope I get off easy.

Suddenly he grinned. It threw me a little of guard. Had Edward and I finally driven him crazy? He laughed and said, "Well go downstairs and see if your brother wants to play baseball. Alice told me there's going to be a storm tonight. It's perfect timing to do some family bonding." He laughed again and turned back to his work. This conversation was obviously done.

I laughed along and said, "Sure, sounds fun," and then I was back in my room.

Alice was laughing at the relieved expression on my face. "Come on Jasper, did you honestly think Carlisle was going to punish you. It was just a harmless boy fight." She continued laughing as I glared at her.

"You saw it all, didn't you?" She just ignored me. She inspected her nails like she wasn't paying any attention. I growled playfully at her. "Oh you're going to get it, Mrs. Hale." I only called her that when I wanted to bug her. I dived at her on the bed and threw her on her back.

She giggled like crazy. "Oh really? And what are you going to do?" She played along. "Sit on me, cause we all know that could kill anyone."

I growled again and said, "No, I'm going to do this." My mouth was on hers then silencing her giggles.

I was about to deepen our kiss when Alice pulled away. I sighed in exasperation. Why did she always have to do that.

"You know. You should go downstairs and tell Edward about the ball game. That _is_ the one thing Carlisle told you to do."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but I'm not done with you."

She giggled as she pulled me from the room and downstairs. We walked into the room holding hands. Emmett and Edward were playing a racing game and Edward was winning.

"Dude! How do you do that?"Emmett roared. "I swear! You cheat! You have to!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Honey, it's just a game."

"But... But..." Emmett whined.

"Dude grow up," I said as I sat down on the chair and Alice sat on my lap.

Edward turned to look at me. His nervousness was very clear.

_I'm sorry Edward. Welcome home._ He grinned at me, then turned back to his game. He was still beating Emmett even though he hadn't been looking for thirty seconds. "Oh yeah," I said out loud to everyone. "There's going to be a storm tonight and Carlisle was wondering..."

"Baseball? Really?!" Emmett interrupted. I nodded grinning at how much like a little kid he was. "Yes! I'll kick your ass out there Edward. Then we'll see whose the best."

Edward turned to stare at Emmett. An expression of pure shock on his face. "Oh no! Emmett please! You can't do that to me!" The sarcasm was so thick I think anyone could have caught on.

Rosalie glared playfully at Edward, "Oh, but he can."

Alice laughed, "Guys, grow up. Can't we act like were all older than ninety."

We all laughed as Esme walked in. She looked at us sitting around laughing with each other and her happiness was very strong. She smiled as she said, "Well it's nice to see you all are getting along again."

I laughed at how motherly she could be.


	10. Snowball Fight Vampire Style

So here's the next chapter. I'm not really sure how soon I'll be able to update now. I'll be in Hawaii for 2 weeks. So yeah. And my cat just died so I'm not really in the mood to do a whole lot so please stick with me. I promise I will get back into it. Thanks for all the reviews I love them and more would be appreciated:D Well enjoy the fluffy vampire snow ball fight!

Edward was home. We were all getting along and now we had to face the ultimate test. We were going to school with him again. Everyone was a little tense, but it seemed to be under control. Alice was excited, but I had no idea why. Whenever I asked her she would just shrug and smile. Edward was nervous. He was still a little ashamed of what happened before, but his nervousness of seeing Bella again overpowered it.

When we pulled up Alice said, "It's going to snow today! Oh and Emmett, I suggest not doing what you're planning."

Emmet's face fell, "Aw man! It was going to be great! It's no fun having a sister who sees the future."

We all just shook our heads and went to class ignoring Emmett's childlike behavior.

Our first few classes went by slowly and uneventfully. I hate school. Why do we have to do this? There has to be a better way to live.

Finally the bell rang and I hurried to meet Alice before lunch. Halfway to her classroom, a snowball came flying and hit me hard in the back of the head. I heard a brief rustle in the bushes and knew who it had been. I bent down and scooped up some snow and hid behind the nearest building. Any second now... come on... Now! I threw the snowball... maybe a little bit too hard to disguise it as human. I hope no one saw it.

Then I noticed who I had hit. It wasn't Emmett. Oops. Edward growled, "What was that for," as he threw some snow back at me.

"Sorry," I gasped, trying to fight back. "I thought you were Emmett. He started it."

Edward stopped throwing snow and grinned. "Well," he paused. "If Emmett started it... We should go get him back, don't you think?"

I grinned in response and gathered more snowballs. When we were fully stocked with snowballs, Edward motioned for me to follow him. I silently followed waiting for a signal to start throwing.

Edward led me to one of the buildings and motioned to hide behind it. I slid in the back and waited. Within seconds Emmett was in my view. _Edward? Now?_

He nodded and we both started throwing as hard as we could. Emmett. Fell over and kept trying to get up. Edward was laughing at his thoughts and kept saying things like, "Emmett! Watch your thoughts! If Esme knew what you what you were thinking she'd insist on washing out your brain."

Emmett didn't seem to think it was funny; he just growled and kept trying to get up again.

After about a minute of this, Alice and Rosalie came up behind us. "Don't you think it's about time for you guys to stop. You're making a scene," Alice scolded. I laughed and shrugged.

Rosalie glared at us. "Stop!" Edward looked at her and grinned. She just glared some more and said, "We need to go into lunch."

"Fine Rosalie," I sighed. "We'll stop. We know how you get when you see your husband getting beat. We understand."

Rosalie glared as Alice, Edward and I walked into the cafeteria laughing. We quickly bought our lunches and sat at our usual table. A few seconds later we were joined by Emmett and Rosalie.

"Man," Emmett complained. "Why d'ya have to do that? It's not fair. You guys gained up on me."

I smiled at him. "You started it."

Emmett shook his head. Then he got a mischievous look and turned to Rosalie and Alice. "Hey. You two didn't get to join in any of the fun."

Alice looked at him curiously, "That's okay. I don't really like getting beat up by Edward and Jasper."

Emmett kept smiling, "But surely you guys just love the snow."

"What are you getting at Emmett?" Rosalie demanded.

"Oh, nothin'," Emmett tried to look innocent. Which I might add, doesn't really work. Then Emmett leaned over and shook off his hair on the girls. They both leaned away disgusted.

"Why do you have to be such a boy?" Rosalie hissed.

I laughed, "Because you would never love him if he wasn't."

Emmett grinned. "You know it's true."

Rosalie just glowered, but I knew she was enjoying the attention and she secretly agreed.

We all sat laughing to ourselves. I was amazed how easily we were getting along. It was great to finally be relaxed and enjoy ourselves. I wish we could always be like this.

Edward laughed at my last thought, but suddenly he turned to look at the Swan girl. _Edward! Don't do it!_

He shrugged, frustrated at something. I had no idea why he was so frustrated. I assumed that it was because of the scent of her blood, but that didn't really fit. Why would that be bothering him now? Then it clicked. _Edward? Can you not read her mind?_

He shook his head once then continued staring. I glanced at the girl once and saw that she was blushing scarlet. Does she always blush like that? That must complicate things for Edward. I looked back at Edward. Who is this girl that she can cause so many problems? Why can't we just be like we were five minutes ago? Is she going to have any more impact in our lives, or will she just be a constant nuisance on the side?

I, at that time had no idea how much she would change our lives. She had brought more questions then there were answers for.


	11. Emmett the Psychiatrist

**Author's note: Okay. So guys. I'm getting slightly frustrated. I know I haven't been the greatest at updating quickly, but why does no one want to tell me what they think? I love to hear what you have to say even if it's not good things. Constructive criticism is a good thing! Please review if you read. It really makes me try harder to get this story out to you guys. Well, anyways, back to my favorite vampire: Jasper!!**

That afternoon Edward was sitting in our backyard, the same frustration and annoyance as at lunch coming from him. I walked up slowly to him and asked, "What is your problem? You're really confused about your feelings. You're intrigued about something, and at the same time you're frustrated." At this Edward just gave me a funny look. "What? You don't keep your emotions to yourself very well." I smiled.

He just sighed and shook his head, lost in his own thoughts.

I decided to try a different approach .Teasing obviously didn't work. "Edward," I began, my tone of voice serious. "I''m your brother. You can tell me anything."

Emmett walked up to us then. I internally groaned. He better not do anything stupid. Emmett said, using a normal tone, "So am I." Then his voice became his normal joking way, "We should all have a nice brother to brother talk." Emmett grinned.

_Does he have to make everything sound so stupid?_ Edward either didn't hear that or he really wasn't in a laughing mood. Jokes obviously were not working.

Emmett, acting like a psychiatrist said, "So Edward, what's troubling you?" I almost expected him to pull out a clipboard and start taking notes.

Edward growled and I quickly said, "Just ignore him. He's gay."

Emmett hit me. Hard.

I glared at him and continued, "But seriously Edward. Your emotions are driving me insane. You're going to have to tell us eventually." I paused, but he didn't say anything. "Fine. We'll go get Esme. She'll get it out of you."

I got up and signaled for Emmett to follow. We were walking away when Edward's voice came softly from behind us.

"I can't help it. I don't know how to talk about it."

We turned and sat beside him. He was sitting with his head in is hands. I'm sure if he could, he would have been crying. This was obviously very hard for him.

"Just start with the easier stuff," I prompted. "I take it your frustration is about something with your power. Can you not read her mind?" I guessed. I hoped I was wrong.

"No. I don't know why, but it's like listening to an empty room. It's like she's not even there." He looked up briefly then hid his face again. "And it's worse. Whenever I talk to her, I can't help but be fascinated. She doesn't do anything predictable. It makes me want to read her mind so badly." He looked up again and stared at the trees, not really seeing them. "I want to know what she's thinking. It's awful not knowing."

I sat in silence. I didn't really have any words of comfort for him. I hardly understood what was happening. After an awkward pause, Edward continued, "And to make it even more complicated, I can hardly resist her blood. I've been doing this for almost a century and I loose almost all control when I'm around her. I don't want to hurt her. She fascinates me, but I can't help but think about how great her blood smells." His words were coming out fast now. Almost like he thought that if he stopped, he wouldn't know how to start talking again.

Anguish washed over him and he hung his head again. I really wasn't sure what to say, but Emmett, serious for once in his life, broke the silence.

"I know what you mean. I've felt longing by one person's blood. It smells so much better than anything you could imagine. I've felt all that before," he hesitated, "twice. Once was much stronger than the other time. Edward, if you've been able to resist it, you're stronger than you think." Regret was coming from Emmett and it was shocking. Emmett hardly regretted anything. "It was in a dark alley. I could never had resisted that blood, even now. It was the sweetest I had ever tasted." I wish I could have had Edward's ability. I was sure Emmett was reliving the event in his mind. He had stopped and his usually happy face was dark.

I figured it was my time to talk, but I was still unsure of what to say. "I," I hesitated slightly, "have never really felt that. My thirst for human blood is just strong in general. I suppose I might have felt that at some point, but it would be blended in to my struggles in general. I guess that might be similar, but I don't think I can quite sympathize." Edward had calmed down and was less crazy with his emotions.

"But," he started, "What should I do?"

Emmett thought for a second and said, "If you can resist it, just stay away as much as possible. Only be around her when you have to be, like in Biology."

"And," I added, "If it gets to be too much, we'll understand if you have to leave. Lord knows I can;t point any fingers."

Edward smiled but was still a little bit worried. "Thanks guys. I'll figure it out," and he got up and walked into the woods.

"He is one strange person," Emmett said and walked back into the house.

I stayed for a while and watched the patch of trees Edward had disappeared through. What will happen now? How can all of this be happening? Edward has never done anything to deserve something like this, and I'm sure he's blaming all of our troubles on himself. I wish there was a way to convince him that it is never his fault.

**Again... reviews are nice...**


	12. Our Idiotic Heroic Brother

Okay. I'm sorry It took so long for this to get up... I'm sorry. I have a lot going on right now. But please read and reviews. I'm telling you, the more I feel people actually want to read this, the more I want to write it.

That whole night was tense. No one really said anything. No one was sure what could be said. Carlisle and Esme decided to go hunting so they weren't here to help in their paternal ways. Emmett still hadn't forgotten what he showed Edward that afternoon and he was silent and still. He only ever said anything if someone asked him a direct question. Rosalie was the same. When Emmett was upset she was too. Edward was up in his room, his music playing and I was sure he was trying to convince himself that he could get through this without killing Bella. I was just thinking in my room and Alice was taking a walk outside. She said she needed to think. As the sun came up I looked out the window and saw that the rain from yesterday had frozen and that it was covered with a small layer of snow. This was going to be an interesting day.

We all piled into Edward's Volvo ready for school. Well, as ready as any of us ever are. We all get slightly frustrated with having to pretend and go to school. Well, everyone except Alice that is. She's happy about everything. Edward drove slightly slower than usual because of the ice, but we still arrived there early.

We all got out of the car in silence and began walking to our classes. No one had said a word to Edward. He stayed behind for a while and stood staring at the old red truck that had pulled in. Rosalie gave it a look of great disdain and walked off. I paused just outside my class to look back at Edward.

That's when it happened. It was shocking. Alice beside me gasped and stared at Edward. Edward's face contorted into a mask of terror. And above all was the screeching of tires, trying to stop, but skidding on the ice. I looked over to the old truck and saw Bella looking at Edward, her face just as terrified. She stood just at the end of her truck, right where a minivan was about to hit. Then she was on the ground and the van crunched around her truck. I waited for the screams of pain that should surely be coming from under the wreck, but all I heard was Alice, murmuring, "That idiot! What was he thinking?"

That's when I noticed that Edward was no longer beside the Volvo. I cringed. He didn't. He shouldn't have. Why? She had clearly seen him by his car. How was he going to get out of this one? I turned to Alice and whispered, "We should go over there. You know, pretend to be upset that Edward might be hurt."

She nodded and motioned for Rosalie and Emmett, who had turned around at the sound of the van, to follow us. We stood in a group watching as they wrenched the wreckage apart. Edward and Bella emerged unscathed. It was a miracle… not.

I could feel the disappointment and disapproval of my whole family. Alice was slightly smug, but mostly she was afraid that now we would have to move. I knew that that was what her fear was. At least I hoped it was.

I watched as they forced Bella onto a stretcher and loaded her in the back of an ambulance. Edward strode to the front and sat talking to the driver. I could feel Bella's annoyance from where I was. I saw her glance at our family and her shock was brief. Her annoyance overpowered it as then forced and neck brace on her.

After the hurt were taken to the hospital the principal came out and told all the students to go to class. Everything would be fine. Some students, like Jessica Stanley had already escaped to follow the ambulance. The rest of the students slowly turned to their classes and dragged their feet the whole way. I was about to turn and walk to my class, when the principal said, "Oh, Cullens. Don't worry. As soon as we find out how your brother is, we'll be sure to tell you." I nodded and turned away suppressing a sigh.

That day went by slowly. Everyone was seething. No one wanted to see Edward but we knew that it was inevitable.

We had all sat down at lunch, when Alice murmured to no one in particular, "And the mighty hero returns to us mere mortals."

I looked where Alice was looking and saw Edward walk through the cafeteria doors. He quietly sat down beside Alice and sighed, "Let me have it. Carlisle already told me how… unintelligent that was."

I felt remorse and regret flow off of him in waves. I silently waited for the storm to break loose, but no one was willing to say their insults out loud. I watched as Edward cringed after attack and attack. His emotions weren't getting any better so I decided to step in. "Enough. We'll finish this at home. He doesn't need us hounding on him right now."

Everyone quieted down and sat perfectly content to be annoyed and angry. I shook my head and thought that if Alice wasn't sitting here at school, she would have stuck her tongue out at me.

The rest of the day went slowly until we drove into the driveway at home. Then all hell broke loose.


	13. One of the Worst

I'm sorry that this took so long. In my defense it is a really long chapter: ) Anyways. I tried to stay as true to the characters as possible, but if I messed up please forgive me. I'm merely a very zealous fan and not the amazing Stephenie Meyer. : )

"What the hell were you thinking, Edward?!" Rosalie shrieked as she stormed out of the car. She turned to glare at him standing just where we could all see the look of fury on her face.

The rest of us got out of the car and watched as Rosalie was the first to attack.

"What were you thinking? Do you want to expose us to everyone? Do you want us to have to go into hiding again?"

I cringed at that last part. It was my fault the last time we had to go into hiding. I had accidentally attacked a girl during the night. We had to disappear off the face of the earth. Esme wasn't too happy. She loved that house.

The anger coming from Rosalie was intense. She had lost it and under all her anger was fear. I knew why she was scared. It was the same reason the rest of us were scared. We didn't want to be exposed. It's hard having secrets from everyone except your family. Rosalie had the hardest time with it, but the rest of us were just as nervous. Edward was nervous, annoyed, and seemed slightly smug about something.

Rosalie continued her tirade, "Edward! You are not the only one who could be hurt because of your carelessness! You are leaving us in the wake of your mistakes. We're the ones who will have to clean up your mess! I can't believe you're doing this to us!"

Rosalie looked like she wanted to keep yelling, but had run out of things to say. Edward hung his head and answered quietly, "I took care of it. Nothing will happen."

I was shocked. What did he mean nothing will happen? "What did you do?" I asked. How could he have taken care of it?

Edward looked at me. I could tell he was relieved because I hadn't yelled at him, but that doesn't mean I wasn't angry. I know I had no place to tell him he was wrong, but now he had messed up and expected us to let him handle it. To just sit back and hope he didn't mess up.

"I talked to her," Edward said calmly, but I knew he was anything but calm. His emotions were going everywhere. Some of them confused me, but I just ignored them. It wasn't the most pressing issue right now.

Alice finally spoke up, "What did you say?"

"Yeah. What did you say? I can't believe you talked to her. It's bad enough that she knew you were on the other side of the parking lot," I added.

Edward's head snapped up to look at me. "What? How did you know that she knew?"

I shrugged. "I saw her looking at you as the van came towards her, which if you ask me is a little weird, but whatever."

Edward shook his hear. "She's more observant than most humans," he sighed.

Rosalie looked like she was going to burst again and start yelling. Emmett was holding her to his side, trying to clam he by rubbing her arm. She was silently building up a fight. I knew that at any second she would burst.

Edward looked at everyone, most likely reading their thoughts, when he looked at me, he continued. "She saw that I was no where near her. She tried to trick me into telling her how I was able to lift a car off or her." He smiled a just a little. "I acted like she was crazy for thinking I did that, but I could tell she wasn't buying it. I tried to tell her that I was standing right next to her the whole time," he paused, probably thinking of Bella's reaction to that. "She wouldn't let it go. She kept saying that she saw me by my Volvo."

"Oh yes Edward! That sounds like you really took care of it!" Rosalie snapped, the sarcasm dripping from her voice. I personally agreed. If that was Edward's way of taking care of things, we needed to have a little talk.

Edward shook his head. "Just wait Rosalie. I told you I took care of it and I did. Just wait."

Rosalie glared and was about to say something but Esme walked up at that time.

"Stop," Esme quickly ordered. I almost laughed at Rosalie's anger. It was getting outrageous. "Edward," she hesitated and Edward looked at her quizzically. Then he nodded quickly and set off for the house.

Emmett turned to Esme. "What? He wasn't done with his story! Esme," he whined, "Where is he going?"

Esme shook her head slowly as if that could get rid of her annoying children that fight too much. "I suggested we take this discussion inside. I heard yelling when you came home so I listened. I heard everything. I think this would be better with us all sitting down in the house."

I nodded, agreeing. I could control the emotional atmosphere better if we were inside. Of course, inside someone might "accidentally" break something. Edward had a history of that.

We all walked silently to the house. Well almost silently. Rosalie kept murmuring a string of curse words under her breath and Esme kept telling her off.

This fight is going to be interesting, but where was Carlisle. He's usually here whenever anything dramatic happens. And of course we couldn't really decide what to do until he gets here, so where is he?

I was thinking this as we sat in the various chairs and couches in the house. We sat in awkward silence until Esme softly prompted Edward, "So honey, what did she do yet?"

Edward sighed and continued his story. "She pulled me aside asking if she could talk to me. She then asked me why I was lying to her. I was shocked. Well, not really shocked, just annoyed that she wouldn't eat my lie and let it go. When I asked her why she wanted to know, she said that she didn't like lying. She said that she wasn't going to tell anyone, but she wanted a good excuse to lie. I refused to tell her, naturally, and she got upset, yet never said that she'd tell anyone." He finished and turned to Rosalie. "So you see? I took care of it. She's not going to tell anyone."

Rosalie huffed and murmured, "That's not really taking care of it. What if she decided to look closer?  
Alice said, "She won't."

That was the first think Alice had to say about this and everyone turned to stare at her.

Emmett spoke for us, "What you do mean, she won't?"

Alice grinned, "She won't look deeper. I promise."

I understood her power a little bit better than everyone else and said, "Wait. You mean she hasn't decided to look farther yet, but what if she changes her mind?"

Edward then spoke softly. His voice laced with pain. I didn't understand. "She won't change her mind. This is one of Alice's more detailed visions, meaning that it's almost guaranteed."

We all looked confused at Alice, except Rosalie who said, "Well I vote we leave before that could ever happen!" Alice stared at her incredulously. She continued, "I don't care how clear the vision was! There's still a chance she might change her mind. What would we do then? Kill her and move on? I'd rather not, so I vote we leave while we can."

Edward cringed at the part about killing Bella and I tried to decipher what he was feeling. It was a strange mix of guilt, affection, and fear. I didn't really understand.

Alice was angry now. "NO! I want to stay!" She yelled at Rosalie. "I want to see what happens. And none of it will be bad, okay? I don't see why you wouldn't trust me on this. You trust me on much more shifty matters. Nothing but good will come out of us staying here."

Rosalie just glared at her, daring her to say anything else.

Alice turned to Edward ignoring Rosalie and said, "Edward, what do _you_ want to do?"

Esme nodded. "Yes Edward. What do you want to do? I think you should have more say in this, as this is all about you."

I shook my head. For once I agreed with Rosalie and not Alice. It isn't all about Edward. It has to do with all of us. We all have to move if something goes wrong. We all have to hide our secret. If one of us slips, it affects all the others. This is not all about Edward!

Edward turned to me and said, "I agree Jasper. It's not all about me. I don't want it to be, but I want to stay," Edward turned to Esme then. "Forks is a perfect place for us to pretend to be normal. We should try to stay here as long as possible. I'll just try to stay away from her. It shouldn't be that hard. I only have one class with her."

At that moment Carlisle walked in and took in the scene before him. "I take you are talking about what happened today," he said calmly. At everyone's nod he continued. "So? What is our decision?"

I was shocked. He didn't tell us what we were going to do? He's the one that makes things finally? He just made it sound like he had no say in the matter?

Carlisle smiled at the confused faces around him. He sat down next to Esme and pulled her close to his side. "I think we should do whatever is necessary to keep us together as a family, as to what will achieve that is up to you."

Rosalie sneered, "I think we should leave and prevent anything from happening, but Alice and Edward seem to think it's better for us to stay. I don't understand why. It seems to me that we're falling apart all for a pathetic human.'

Edward growled at her. "I can handle it. Everything will work out fine."

I shook my head, "But that's not guaranteed Edward."

Emmett nodded his head, "I agree, yet…" He hesitated pulling his thoughts together. Rosalie glared at him, almost daring him to disagree with her. "I think we should stay as long as possible. Alice should be able to see something before it happens…" He thought for a second then added, "Of course we should consider the other options. We could leave now and prevent anything from happening, but where would we go?"

"To Denali." Rosalie said like it was the most obvious thing.

Alice shook her head, "You have to remember why we left there in the first place. We were too big of a group. We stood out too much."

Rosalie glared, yet nodded realizing that Alice was right. I looked around at everyone and quietly asked, "So what are we going to do?"

Edward said, "I think we should stay for as long as possible. I understand that we might have to leave eventually, but I would like to avoid it as long as possible."

Carlisle nodded, "That seems reasonable. If anyone finds a reason to leave, they should come tell me immediately. Until something threatens to destroy our way of life, we'll stay."

"Fine!" huffed Rosalie as she got up and stormed to her room.

Emmett sighed and followed her up.

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me to her room. When we entered the room she turned on me, "What was that?"

I looked at her confused, "What was what?"

"That! You! Why didn't you believe me?"

I sighed. "Alice. I always believe you, I just was thinking about it in the logical sense. I was merely seeing all sides of the problem."

Alice shook her head. "Whatever." She turned and walked to her closet and began searching for some clothes.

I could feel her annoyance and disappointment and I hated it. I walked behind her and snaked my arms around her "I love you," I whispered in her ear. She relaxed in my arms and I felt love come from her. I sighed relieved. "Thank you," I whispered.

She giggled, "You're very welcome," and then she turned in my arms and pulled my face down to hers to kiss me.

Well, there it is. One of the worst fights the Cullen's have ever had. Review please. Constructive criticism is welcome. I actually enjoy it. It helps me realize what I can do to make this just as enjoyable for everyone else as it is for me: )


	14. Spring Dance

Okay. So here it is. Some more of the story. It's brief but sweet. I'll try to get another chapter up soon to make up for how short it is. Read and enjoy! J

"Ugh! I cannot stand him! Why does he have to be that way!"

I turned a page in my book as Alice stormed into the room. "Honey. Calm down." At her glare I continued, "What did Edward do now?"

"Ugh!" She exclaimed. She was really frustrated and it was rubbing off. I tried to stay calm so that I could be the voice of reason by flipping to the next page. "He's so infuriating. Everything he does! It's like he wants to annoy me! Why can't he just accept it!"

I looked at her confused, "Accept what?"

"That he's in love with Bella!" She exclaimed like it was obvious.

I raised my eyebrow at her and patted the couch beside me, motioning for her to sit down. "What are you talking about?"

She sat down beside me and leaned into my shoulder. I quickly wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer. She sighed as she let me relax her. "He's still sticking to his ridiculous idea that he saved her because he couldn't stand it if her blood was spilt. I didn't buy it when he first told Rose that and I still don't buy it. It's stupid. He did it on impulse because he loves her."

I shook my head. "You know, for me being the empath, you're pretty sure about that." She glanced up at me and was about to retaliate. "I know what he's feeling. I know that he loves her. He's just more confused than he is in love. Give him time and let him make his excuses."

She shook her head and sighed, "But I want to take her shopping."

I laughed. "That can't be all you're excited about."

"No," she thought for a moment. "But I'm not going to tell you anything else. It would ruin the surprise." She grinned. "You know. The spring dance is coming up."

I groaned. "Alice. Not again. You know I hate those childish events. All the boys feel exactly the same thing and it makes me feel all dirty. Please don't make me go." I pleaded.

Her grin faded. "But Jazz… I want to go!"

I looked in her eyes and knew that she really wanted to go. I sighed. "I'll make you a deal. If Edward and Bella start dating, I'll actually consider Prom."

Her eyes flashed briefly with anger then with humor, "If? What do you mean if? You do just realize that you promised to go to Prom with me. You haven't gone to Prom in years."

I smiled. "I know."

She laughed. "I love you."

I smiled at her. "No one knows that as well as I do. And of course you know that I love you. That's the only way you'd be able to get me to go to a high school dance."

Okay. So I realize that this is a really short chapter. It's more of a transition to get me closer to adding Bella into the story. I want to get more of the action things in, so bare with me as I get through the awkward stage of covering everything. J Thanks for all your support and continue giving me your advice in reviews. They really help a lot. Thanks.


	15. The Night Everything Changed

Alright. So I know this isn't a very long chapter, but I'm getting to the good stuff soon. The drama should pick up a little from here. Read and review.

"Edward! Stop!"

I looked up from my book. It sounded like Alice and Edward were getting into another fight.

"Edward! Stop! You can't go. You haven't made up your mind yet!" Alice's voice rang through the house.

I decided then to go down and see what was going on. As I went down the stairs I saw Rosalie standing watching with a smug look on her face. She was proud about something, but I ignored her and continued to the front room. I could feel Alice's pure panic and Edward's frustration and confusion.

I came up behind Alice and wrapped my arms around her, willing the room to calm down. Alice smiled up at me then turned back to Edward.

"What do you mean I haven't made up my mind? I'm going. I decided that earlier today." Edward's frustrated reply came.

"That's not what I was talking about. You know what I was talking about." She went silent, and I was sure she was telling him something in her thoughts.

They had been fighting like this ever since Edward had come home. It was always Alice going on about how Edward loved Bella. Edward would retaliate with how ridiculous that idea was. He had never loved any of the vampires he had met; why would he love a silly little human? I knew better. He loved her. Every time he saw her, I felt it, but I disagreed with Alice. She shouldn't force it on him. His confusion masked his love and he denied that love was even there.

"You keep telling me I love her!" Edward burst after a while. "Why would I kill a girl I love?"

"You haven't made up your mind that you love her yet," Alice answered simply. "Jasper," she turned on me. "Tell him."

I looked at her with shock. "What am I supposed to say honey?" I sighed. "He's already heard what I've felt and he's too confused to recognize it. There's nothing I can say."

Alice was angry for a moment, but suddenly she grinned and began to sing the ABC's softly, under her breath. I assumed that she had a vision and was trying to keep it from Edward.

Edward's frustration increased as he watched her hid her thoughts.

"Fine. You can go," Alice said suddenly to both mine and Edward's surprise. "But I swear, Edward, if you kill Bella, I'll kill you a thousand times over."

The venom in Alice's voice at that moment would have put Rosalie's worst moment to shame. It was a million times more threatening than Rosalie could even dream of being.

"Honey…" I tried to soothe her.

"I'm leaving." Edward snapped and ran out the door.

As soon as he was out of hearing range, Alice started to giggle and jump up and down.

"Alice?" Her mood swings confused me so much. They almost gave me a headache just trying to keep up with them.

"Edward's not going to be confused ever again after tonight." She exclaimed, overjoyed, and hugged me tightly.

I pulled her close to me. "Alice? What's going on?"

She giggled again. "He's going to discover that he loves her tonight. It's so great! I can't wait to take her shopping!"

I shook my head as she ran up to her closet and began to sort through which clothes would look good on Bella.

There it is. Our proof that Alice is insane. Read and review. It makes me happy. I also would love any suggestions on what should be happening. I keep thinking I'm going to leave something out. Thanks.


	16. Confusion Galore

Alright. Here's the next chapter. This one was a little bit more about Edward and Bella, but I still love Jasper. He has such a way at looking at things that makes me happy. I hope it wasn't too long of a wait for you. This chapter is quite a bit longer. I hope you enjoy it. Read and review please!

Alice, Emmett, Esme and I were all sitting in the living room watching one of our old vampire movies, when Edward ran through the house as fast as possible.

"What's up with him?" Emmett asked not taking his eyes off the TV screen.

"Well… from his emotions I'd say he finally figured something out, but is rebelling against it as much as possible," I said, staring at the stairs that Edward had just disappeared up. He was feeling love stronger than I've ever felt from him, but I also could tell that he was in turmoil. He didn't want to be in love.

"What?!" Alice jumped up. "No! He can't fight against it! He needs to embrace it…" She trailed off. "I'm going to go talk to him." She said quickly then was running up the stairs.

I turned to Esme, "Something tells me this isn't going to be pretty."

"I just hope nothing gets broken this time," Esme sighed, looking at the kitchen door that she just replaced.

I smiled at her and strained to hear what was going on up stairs. It sounded like Edward was talking himself out of it and Alice was trying to understand. She always had such a strange view on life. Everything was so easy to accept to her. I understood Edward's point of view a little better. He suddenly has this new emotion and idea presented to him. He's been the same for decades. It's hard for him to suddenly change his thinking. He always thought that humans were shallow and dull, but suddenly he's found one that isn't. I understood what it was like to suddenly have to change your mind set.

When Alice started to get angry I decided it was time for me to go up and calm their emotions a little.

I knocked quietly on Edward's door. Neither heard me as they were too caught up in their argument, so I just slipped in quietly.

"Why is it so hard for you Edward?" Alice demanded. "Why can't you just accept the truth?"

Edward sighed. He had been over this before. "I just can't do it Alice. I could never change her into one of us. I'd never be able to be with her. Do you realize how dangerous it is for me to feel this way? I won't risk it."

"Edward… You know that you can't deny it forever." Alice sighed.

"Edward," I started. Alice and Edward turned to look at me suddenly, angry that I was there. "What? I knocked," I said quickly in defense. "Anyways," I continued. "I'd like to know what happened. Why are you suddenly feeling this way?" I asked out loud. To Edward alone I added, _why__ are you feeling so in love?_

Edward sighed and sat on his couch. "Well…" he began slowly then his words spilled out in haste. No mortal could have heard what he said. "I went to go see Bella earlier. I wanted to understand what was going through my head. I didn't think that I would ever have to stoop as low to sneak into her house, but I found myself in her room watching her sleep. She looked a little upset and restless at first. I sat in her corner thinking about what I was feeling. It's so strange to me. I don't understand. Anyways, she startled me by saying my name very clearly. She had been mumbling in her sleep, but it wasn't anything coherent. I panicked and ran to her window with every intention to leave when Bella sighed my name again, and rolled into a more comfortable position. I realized then that she was asleep, and that she was dreaming about me. I felt strange…" Edward paused. "It was like everything just got warmer in this cold life of ours. It was like… like… I can't even begin to explain it. I sat back down and continued to watch her sleep, but she didn't say anything else. A part of me was hoping she would start having a nightmare about me and start shrieking. Another part was terrified that she would do just that. I sat and contemplated everything that had happened. I realized then that I was too dangerous. I shouldn't even have gone there in the first place. I had to leave and I have to stay away from her. I can't put her in a position like that again."

When Edward said Bella's name, his emotions actually settled. All the other times he flashed between panic and self-loathing. But when he said her name, his emotions fell silent and all that was present was love. Pure love that I knew was stronger than he could imagine.

"Edward. Why are you denying it? You know, and I know, that you love her."

He opened his mouth to retaliate, but I knew exactly what he would say.

"I know that you think it's too dangerous. I know what it's like to suddenly have to understand something completely different then all your life before, but trust me. It's much easier to accept it then it is to try to deny it. That's just a lot of grief that will lead to the same conclusion as you just accepting it."

Edward hung his head and sighed. "I don't know."

That was all Alice or I could get out of him, so we decided to give up, that and the fact that Esme had just called, "Kids! It's time to go to school!"

We all quickly changed and got ready and within minutes we were on the way to school, everyone wondering what would happen once we got there.

As Edward pulled into the parking lot, we all filed out of the car and started walking to our classes. Edward stopped and stared across the parking lot to the back corner. Suddenly he was back there standing next to Bella talking to her.

"This is going to be interesting," I murmured in Alice's ear.

She shrugged, "I've already seen it."

"Of course you have," I replied dully. "And you couldn't have told me about it?"

"Where's the fun in that?" she asked then started to walk towards the school.

"Where are you going? I want to watch this."

"Trust me. You want to be standing closer to the cafeteria."

I shrugged and found a nice place to stand just close enough to hear Bella and Edward now and I was standing where I could see the cafeteria.

"Do you have a multiple personality disorder?" I heard Bella demand. I had to hold in a laugh at this. I had often wondered the same thing.

I listened closer as Edward struggled to keep focused on his question. He kept getting these waves of affection; I assumed that he was noticing different things that she did that attracted him. I couldn't help but smile at the different Edward this was. He was slightly unsure of himself and even doubted that she would say anything back to him.

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?" Edward clarified for Bella.

What was he doing? If he thought it was too dangerous, why would he deliberately be putting himself a lone with her? Was he planning something other than a road trip? I wasn't sure. I made a mental note to ask Alice later.

They had reached the cafeteria now and Bella's emotions were hilarious. She felt a steady attraction and admiration, but under it all she was confused and angry. I assumed it was from the mixed messages Edward was sending her.

She nodded her agreement to go with him and he became serious. The other half of him that wished she would say no was winning the argument within him at that point.

"You really _should_ stay away from me. I'll see you in class." Edward turned and left a confused Bella standing in the rain.

Edward was having a raging war within him. Half of him was glowing with triumph and the other half was screaming it's self-loathing at putting such an innocent girl at risk.

Bella was just confused. I didn't have to have the ability to feel emotions to know that. She walked to her class with a dazed look on her face and didn't even realize it when the bell rang.

I jumped a little when I heard the bell ring. I walked to my class preparing myself to use the Cullen charm to get out of trouble.

Hehe. Even Jasper uses the Cullen charm. Review please! I love to hear about how to make it better. And it helps you to enjoy my story more too. So please review and tell me what you think.


	17. Coming to Terms

First off, I'd like to apologize. It has been entirely way too long for me to suddenly update again. I think I've found my muse again. :D Life's a lot less stressful, and I think I can finally get into Jasper's head again. Which I Love doing so much. Anyways here it is, the wonderful let's get the ball rolling chapter. :D

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The first part of school was uneventful. Actually, that whole day was pretty monotone. Girl's were giggling about the upcoming dance. Boys were thinking the same old same old, and I gracefully went through my classes, sure to not step out of line. It was getting easier, this life. I had not had trouble really keeping to our unusual lifestyle, and I was on a slight high today. It was most likely Edward's fault. I've had to concentrate on his emotions a lot lately, and I think all the lovey dovey stuff was started to rub off on me. Great. Alice will love it. I smiled a little at the idea of being with Alice after we got out of this hellhole.

The really only eventful thing was lunch. We all went through the routine of buying food and sitting at the table. Except Edward. Edward came in and gave a fleeting look, before walking across the room to another table.

"What is he up to?" Rosalie hissed at Alice, clearly hoping that Alice had seen this coming.

All Alice would do was grin. Her emotions were amazing sometimes. They hardly ever fit with everyone else. Emmett and Rosalie were both anxious, but Alice was purely excited and giddy. Sometimes I wish I had Edward's ability. Getting into Alice's mind would be amazing.

Bella walked in at that moment and we all turned subconsciously to see what would happen. I tuned in on her emotions, so I could warn Edward if it was getting dangerous. Bella was anxious for whatever reason, but suddenly she was disappointed.

I looked and Edward and he just grinned like he knew exactly what was going on. I watched as he motioned for her to come over and sit with him. I watched as they sat and talked. It was intense. Rosalie was furious for some unknown reason and the whole room was tense. Bella's friends were sitting across the room glaring at Edward, and Edward and Bella had their own strange intensity about them. It was getting a little too much for me, so I decided to take my leave. As I was leaving I tried to calm the room a bit.

Alice, Rosalie and Emmett followed shortly after me.

"Excellent," Alice whispered to me, "He's finally coming to terms with it. I just can't wait and see how this all plays out in the end."

I smiled back at her, "You find immensely too much enjoyment in watching other people's futures, you know that?"

"I'm looking out for mine too." Alice giggled.

I pulled her towards me and gave her a quick peck on the lips, "I'll see you after class, my cute little fortuneteller." I winked at her and walked away. I felt her pleasure and annoyance at my statement and just smiled to myself. This life wasn't too bad.

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I spoke too soon. After my last class, I went as quickly as I could, without drawing attention to myself, to the parking lot. As soon as it was in view, I knew something was wrong. Rosalie was furious again, and Emmett was annoyed. Alice however was as calm as a summer breeze. What was this all about.

Then I saw it. Or lack thereof. Edward's Volvo wasn't in the parking lot. I scanned the lot again hoping I had missed it. Nope. It was definitely gone. Wonderful.

I walked up behind Alice and whispered in her ear, "Any idea when he'll be back?" Before I had finished my last word, Edward was screeching to a stop right in front of us. I raised my eyebrows at him, but he just shrugged.

As we piled into the car, Rosalie hissed at Edward, "Where the hell were you? You were with that girl, weren't you?"

Edward shrugged and quietly said, "She fainted in biology from the smell of blood. I wanted to take her home. Alice?"

"Of course I'll do it. Do you have the keys?" Alice answered the unasked question.

"Here," Edward said as a set of keys were flying to the back of the car, and Alice was off to Bella's truck.

"Wait!" Emmett burst. He found something highly amusing. "Did I hear that right? Bella fainted from the _smell_ of blood? Edward, you're in love with a girl who can't stand blood! Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who sees the irony in this!" Emmett was laughing his booming laugh. That is, until Rosalie back handed him.

"It's not funny Emmett." Rosalie turned to look out the window and never said another word.

Emmett was left snickering, and I just turned to Edward and asked, _So, what made you change your mind?_

Edward just kept driving and ignored me. Either that or he was lost in thought. Edward was so confused. I knew how he felt, in a different sort of way, but all I could really think about was the awe I felt. Edward had been strong enough to resist his singer multiple times, and now he's realized that he actually loved her. I don't think that I could have dealt with such conflicting emotions. The urge to kill her fought with the urge to save her. The next few weeks were going to be interesting.

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So there it is. It took absolutely too long for me to update it. And I'm sorry that it's not that long, but I promise, I'm just getting back into the swing of things. The next few are going to be much better. Reviews are wonderful. :D


	18. Author's Note

Sorry guys. I hate doing this to people. Author's notes really are quite a pain, but I feel obligated to keep everyone informed. So, I've been studying Stephenie Meyer's incomplete draft of Midnight Sun, and I've realized that I have had a some things completely wrong. Because of this, I'm doing a complete clean up of this story. There won't be very much new stuff for a little bit, but every chapter before this is going to be revamped. I kind of hit a block and I felt like I couldn't figure out what Jasper would do next, and I'm hoping that this little excercise will be useful in finding out more about Jasper. Hopefully y'all will like the newer version better. Thanks a ton for all the love and reviews so far!

**CHAPTER ONE HAS BEEN UPDATED!!!**

**CHAPTER TWO HAS BEEN UPDATED!!!  
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